My First Drive

Plinky asked me, “Describe the first time you drove a vehicle.”

1957 Cadillac tailfins

When I was sixteen, I couldn’t wait to get my driver’s license. But, I had to go through my mom first. The wicked woman took me every evening to the state police barracks to practice my raw driving skill.

They had a figure eight configuration and a place where you could practice parallel parking. The problem was that she made me do this in her beast of a Cadillac. How cruel.

She made me back around the figure eight. She made me drive it over and over and over again. I hated her. I hated that stupid boat with wheels. This was just so unfair to make me practice in such a large vehicle. I decided right then I would NEVER own a Cadillac.

On the day of my driver’s test, my mom made me drive my dad’s car. What the hell? I was confused. We took his brand new 1972 Mercedes and I whipped it into the parallel parking spot. I drove the figure 8 like a pro. I even asked him if he wanted me to drive it backwards. I was “Teen-age Driver of the Year” for sure. I passed with flying colors.

My mom didn’t say a word on the way home. She sat there like Cock robin, though. Smug lady.

When we got home, my dad asked if it worked? My mom smiled and said, “Yes, I’m such a smart woman.”

She was. And I finally told her that when my own daughter was learning to drive. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a Cadillac for her to learn to drive in.

We had a van, though. Worked this time too.

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Published in: on February 10, 2011 at 10:19 am  Leave a Comment  

My Competitive Side

Plinky asked me, “What are you competitive about?”

 

I like to be right. My ex-husband used to think he knew it all, and I would just quietly go to a reference source to confirm or deny his statement. He used to say it was because I hated to be wrong, but he is so wrong about being wrong.. I just need to find the truth. I am a seeker of knowledge.

So, yeah, I like to be right. I am not smug or conceited. I used to be conceited, but now I am perfect. :)

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Published in: on February 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

If I Were a Published Author

Plinky asked me, "You just signed a book deal. What's the title of your masterpiece?"

Dropped on Her Head
I would write a memoir and take excerpts from my blog, Jumping in Mud Puddles. I would be like a Christina Crawford, exaggerating my life with my mother, a real loon.

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Published in: on February 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

Seventeen Moras of Frustration

Plinky asked me, “Write a haiku about something that drives you nuts.”

 

Sugared-up students

not following directions.

Can I drink in class?

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Published in: on February 4, 2011 at 6:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Stuff I Just Can’t Throw Away

Plinky asked me, “What can’t you throw away?”

House Plans: Side Left

I have a stack of house plan books. Ever since I was a little girl, I enjoyed walking through a house plan. It began with a children’s book called, Patches, where there was a picture of the inside of the little girls trailer. I was hooked. I guess I should have been an architect.

When we built our house, I re-designed the inside and made up a new plan to give to our contractor. He was pretty impressed. I didn’t know what the hell a load-bearing wall was, but I knew what I wanted. Even after we built the house, I would continue to buy house plan books every once in a while.

Now that I am divorced and renting, I am glad I have those house plan books, In fact, I am probably due to buy another one.

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Published in: on February 4, 2011 at 6:45 pm  Leave a Comment  
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